encouraging · faith · Family · motivating · self-love · Uncategorized

Mood swing

Over the past several weeks I’ve been struggling with stress and just feeling so busy. My week days have been so long and it has made it hard to balance work life and home life. I know so many can attest to what I am talking about. There doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day to everything we need to do. Some times it can last a short few days and then others it seems never ending. I would like to say I have found some great wisdoms to pass along and then share that with you. The truth is I haven’t any wisdom and very little advice.

Sometimes the advice I do have doesn’t even work for these seasons. My advice would be;

Try to think about the positive and look for the bright side

Keep moving forward and chipping away at what’s ahead

Look at how much you’ve been able to accomplish before in these seasons

So on and so forth can be the advice. Here is my honest opinion about these situations; very rarely are there bad days but mostly bad moods. That is true for most of the times I go through these things. If I just swing my mood then my day miraculously gets better. This is what happened to me two weeks ago. My mood was crummy and I wasn’t looking to change it. I was kind of wallowing in my own bad mood. I bet if we were all honest we can admit to doing this sometimes. It was a Sunday and I was dreading my upcoming week. I was letting it seep into my favorite day of the week and ruin my family time. I wasn’t outwardly doing anything to ruin it I should say but I wasn’t doing much to help spread fun. I think the truth is though sometimes we don’t do anything and God still shows up to help us out. That was what happened to me this particular day. I suddenly felt like this was what would carry me through my long week. The feeling I had, the moments I lived in, and the time I took would help me feel loved and refuel me for the things that were ahead.

So many times over the last few weeks I have gone back to that Sunday in my head or just looking at the photos I took that day of my family and I feel happy and full again. Even now it makes me smile. I don’t want this to seem like another advice blog or that I think you should be doing things differently with your life. I simply want to share this with you because I hope that maybe you will have this shift in your mood and see God shows up even if you haven’t asked Him and it can change everything.



Recently my friend and I finished a study called Twelve Women of the Bible. It was rather interesting to study about these women but also to hear women talking and teaching on them. I enjoyed learning different perspectives about the stories I grew up reading and hearing. The first chapter in this particular bible study was on Eve. Anyone who has read the beginning of the bible knows about Adam and Eve. When I listened however, to Lysa TerKeurst talk about Eve she gave me a totally new perspective on the story. She shared how Eve had everything she could ever want or desire given to her from God yet she found a way to want more therefore leading to sin.

That made me think SO differently about Eve’s story. She lived in paradise with her husband and they are described as being helpers just right for each other and she had a close relationship with God not only in a spiritual way but was able to see him physically. She literally had everything. Yet when the serpent questioned her about what God really said about eating the fruit from the tree of life she was convinced that it was okay. That makes me think she must have started thinking about the fruit before then. We all know if there is something we shouldn’t do but want to do it doesn’t take a lot to give us a push in that direction. So she must have had a desire for more than she had. She had perfection but wanted EVERYTHING around her, the one and only tree she wasn’t supposed to eat from. I had two feelings when I started thinking more about the story this way. The first thing was why are we desiring to have more? The second was thoughts of forgiveness.

Like so many of us today we have things but we want more. I noticed when we talk about wanting more it always seems to be material driven. We desire more things, stuff, items. I am not saying that having material items is a bad thing. I am just like you and want/need things and therefore I buy these things, I personally have a list of things to buy in my bullet journal. But I want to take this a little deeper, why do we mostly desire and then seek materialistic things rather than looking at what our souls and hearts may desire. Sure buying something makes us feel good and it doesn’t always just last a little while like some people may say. Some of that stuff can actually make you happy and smile every time you use it or see it. What if Eve knew she had the perfect life and she was actually happy and she initially didn’t desire the tree. She maybe admired it for its beauty but never considered eating from it because she knew she wasn’t supposed to. Then slowly she begins to become used to the perfection she has around her and it no longer seems perfect like it did and she begins to rethink her life.  I know I do this in my life, I recognize all the blessings and then I may notice something wonderful someone else has that maybe I don’t. I begin to question “is what I have really enough” “do I really want that instead of what I have already”. I struggle with this most spiritually and emotionally. I see others and wonder why I can’t be more like them and I forget what I do have to offer, even if it isn’t that much. Maybe the next time we start to feel we are desiring something someone else has materialistic or spiritual, we should look at the deeper reason we may want what they have. Then we can question how is that missing in our lives or maybe it isn’t but we just have it in a different way. Not everything come packaged the same way. I have learned this well regarding the relationships in my life by trying not to fit every person into how I think they should be but rather look at them for who they are and love them that way.

The second and last thing I thought about when looking at this story deeper is forgiveness. We can all admit we have had set backs and sin, we have all been Eve. But knowing this should make us love each other with more forgiveness and recognize we are not perfect. Tolerance, acceptance, love, and forgiveness I think is what we are called to do. To me judgment is not my job nor my calling. I found the verse Ephesians 4:2 “Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowances for each other’s faults because of your love.” The rest of the chapter has a lot of good teachings in there as well.  I think unforgiven actions have divided people for a long time now and I pray we can overcome that. We are responsible for ourselves and how we feel about or treat others. Just remember we’ve all been Eve.

faith · Family · grief · motivating · Redirection · self-love · Uncategorized

2017, the year of change

Like most people I’ve been reflecting today on what 2017 has meant to me and what I am looking for in 2018. In the past I would try to set goals for the upcoming year and in recent years I would pick a focus word. For 2017 I didn’t do that exactly but one was picked for me, change. This year I saw so much change in my life in every aspect. My relationship with family members, my husband and son, my career, friends, and my relationships with God.

Some people do not like change and I have to admit it scares me at times. I’ve become comfortable with the familiar and I think that becomes even more true the older I get. When things are going well change can be scary because that means they could become bad with everything turned upside down. That’s what freaks me out about change. What I am learning though is with faith in God change doesn’t have to be as scary. We still may worry and cry but we shouldn’t be fearful. If we believe God knows what is best for us then we have to trust in His will. I think this is when change becomes growth and I feel I have grown spiritually so much more than I expected this year. I am so thankful for where God has brought me and where He intends on taking me. It’s a little scary but not like it was.

Because of all this, because I see that I cannot know what the future holds for me I am not looking for what 2018 means for me but rather what I feel God is saying about 2018 for me. I feel a pull towards the word ‘others’. I don’t know why or what it will mean but I’m sure I’ll find out. Thank you God for such an amazing year of blessings.

faith · motivating · self-love · Uncategorized


I come from a long line of worries. We are the best at over analyzing until whatever we started thinking about now become something so different it’s almost unrecognizable to our original thought. This can sometimes be a good quality, the ability to think of different ways to prepare or correct situations. However, it can also lead to unnecessary sadness, hurt feelings, and wasted time.

Several years ago I realized I didn’t want to continue this way. It wasn’t good for me and I wanted to stop. I prayed about it and began to find it was less about me stopping the worrying but more about turning it over to God. I don’t think that you should “let go and let God” like the saying goes but what I mean is we should pray to God about our feelings and then ask Him to reveal how we fit in the situation. Is it something we can help with, something we should do to change, or maybe we should take a step back from it altogether? Even now I have to remind myself of these things.

I believe the other half of this coin is enjoying the good stuff. This, as bizarre as it may sound, is the harder part for me to get right now. I don’t know if it comes from my history of worrying or just human nature to expect bad things but I struggle sometimes with waiting for the storm to hit. I think about how blessed I am and wonder when something will dramatically turn bad. To me this is a terrible way to live though. As if God only allows a certain number of good times then followed by bad. I feel like it’s not living through God’s blessings.

Throughout the Bible we are taught that God wants to bless us and wants great things for our lives. God wants good things for our lives. So why do we struggle sometimes to see that? I believe it comes from many different reasons. Maybe someone told you that you don’t deserve it or it’s just been one struggle after another. Regardless of the reason, I feel we need to recognize God’s blessing. For me that means praying when things look tough but looking at the other areas in my life that are going so well. Looking for the ways God is working to improve the hard parts. It means finding joy even when things are hard. It can be hard to make this change and it’s easy to become discouraged but I believe it’s easier the more you do it and it really makes a difference in your everyday life. Life is more than just a series of repeated ups and downs. I want to encourage you to give God your worry and to live like you’re loved because you truly.

encouraging · faith · motivating · self-love · Uncategorized

Overwhelmed no more

I’ve had the word overwhelmed on my mind here lately. I just decided to check it in my dictionary app and I was a little surprised by the results found. 1 to overcome completely in mind or feeling: overwhelmed by remorse.

2 to overpower or overcome, especially with superior forces; destroy; crush: Roman troops were overwhelmed by barbarians.

3 to cover or bury beneath a mass of something, as floodwaters, debris, or an avalanche; submerge: Lava from erupting Vesuvius overwhelmed the city of Pompeii.

4 to load, heap, treat, or address with an overpowering or excessive amount of anything: a child overwhelmed with presents; to overwhelm someone with questions.

5 to overthrow.

All of these meanings are from a negative viewpoint. I have reread them now several times over and cannot find a positive outlook anyway. This is completely different from the way I have recently viewed this word overwhelm.

About two or so months back I was so busy with things to do, things that I wasn’t exactly happy to be doing, and missing some of the things I wanted to do. I felt defeated and overwhelmed. Then I began to think about how I got into that season of my life. I had been praying for a long while for God to help me in specific areas of my life. I realized He had answered. Although it didn’t look the way I thought it would. These changes were hard and I hadn’t expected that when I had prayed for change.

We ask for blessings in our lives. We’ll pray for growth, chances to help others, ways to make real differences in our communities but when the multiple opportunities arrive we can feel overwhelmed by them. We may miss them because we view them in a negative way. We think it’s something to trip us up or slow is down so we try by passing them. I know I have done that so many times. But didn’t we just ask to be blessed? It’s harder when answered look like more questions.

I’m not going to lie, I am still struggling with this. I’ll have breakfasts to get ready, lunches to pack, beds to make, work my full time job, be a wife and mom. There are dishes and laundry, dogs, and the list can go on…but what if I didn’t have these little blessing. My life may be less hectic but a lot less meaningful and joyful. God has blessed me beyond anything I could have ever hoped, dreamed, or imagined. One morning I was trying to get through my morning routine and I had the though “I’m just here to make the beds huh? And do the laundry? And all the other things no one wants to do?” But then I though no, I am here everyday making the bed as a blessing and an opportunity to make my home better for my family and not just another overwhelming task. Opportunity rather than overwhelming. I feel this has cleared up some mental clutter for me with fewer negative thoughts and feelings. I hope you too will switch the word overwhelming out with something more positive that fits better into your life.

faith · motivating · self-love · Uncategorized

belated birthday reflection

I turned 30 recently. I know traditionally this is a milestone that freaks people out. It is weird thinking about being out of my 20’s and moving into a new age bracket. I have to say though, I wasn’t upset about turning 30. It made me feel easy and peaceful transitioning into my next phase. When I reflect upon my 20, especially early 20’s, it seemed chaotic at times. I guess a lot of people feel that way. It’s a time of freedom, adventure, and having experiences. I didn’t feel that way about it though. I sort of felt out of place. I wasn’t running wild like a lot of the others my age but I was trying to. Only it didn’t fit me. I’ve always kind of felt like I didn’t know who I was and that was always kind of challenging for me because I didn’t feel completely comfortable in who I was trying to be. I felt like I could adapt to be a 100 different people. If you ever struggled with personal identity you know what I’m talking about. I didn’t like it because I wasn’t building a solid foundation of who I was completely. I had my moral values sure but I didn’t see that was enough at the time.

Through the latter part of my 20’s I desired to grow spiritually. Through prayer and faith built friendships I started feeling stronger. This is when I felt the pull to start asking how God saw me rather than others do or even myself. Since then I’ve learned that my morals were the foundation of me all along but I couldn’t see that at the time.

I’m not regretful for my 20’s because I learned some major life lessons. I think being so adaptable was necessary to learn for my future self. I can honestly say I’ve been using it a lot recently with all the changes going on in my life. And it’s wonderful. I have had actual aha moments that I recognized a new step in my spiritual journey.

I’ve learned so much from just opening up to the process and looking at myself and the world around me differently. Perspective, I think that’s my biggest take away so far in both the major life events and the mundane everyday happenings.

I’m so thankful for my journey thus far and am feeling blessed about the future come what may. 30 looks bright from where I’m standing.


My half marathon

November 18 2017 is now a special day for me. It’s the day I finally ran my first half marathon. When I started this journey 13 weeks ago I wasn’t sure I would do it. I had the dream but knew if I didn’t put a date on it I would never do it. So I found a race, picked a training program and started.

I was so nervous even from the beginning as I looked through the training schedule. I thought ‘6 miles in the first week, what?! Are they trying to kill me?!’ That first week was brutal because I had TERRIBLE knots throughout my legs. I really love stretching and yoga but that wasn’t cutting it. Thankfully a friend helped me with a foam roller which I promptly order one myself. That thing was a life saver. It hurt so bad to use but always brought relief.

I wrote out the training schedule and kept it in my bullet journal (if you ever want to get organize a bullet journal is the way to go). As the days progresses I wrote down notes about each of my runs for two reasons. First so I could keep an idea of how I needed to adjust my training and second because I wanted to make sure I remembered this process. This run was 100% for me and about me. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it, that I could set a goal for myself and accomplish it. I have been able to do some really neat things in my life but always with the help of others. I don’t mean that in a bad way either. I’ve just always been blessed to have supportive and loving people in my life. This was something that I could only be responsible for. Race day would come and I would be the only one to do the thing. I wanted to prove to myself that I am capable.

But I didn’t just want to finish the race, I wanted to run the race. I wanted to push myself and train for it. Sometimes I get so afraid of failing at something I don’t even really try. Or I used to do that anyway. This time I decided I wanted to train fearlessly so I could run my race with determination. I won’t lie, I had some days that were harder than others to get up an hour early to run. There were nights I didn’t go to bed until late because I was running my long runs late. I didn’t really run much outside because it hardly worked for my schedule. I felt selfish at times because I was running when I thought I should be doing other things. I kept reminding myself why I was doing it and just kept running hoping it would payoff.

The weather app leading up the the race was my most visited app because I was so worried it would rain. It was beautiful sunny sky’s every day except that day forecasted. I kept praying the rain would hold off. The Monday before the race it changed to only 10% chance of rain and I was thrilled! Thank you God! Two days before my run I got sick. Like total body aches, nausea/vomiting, feeling like a truck hit me sick. For those two days I hardly ate anything and I was forcing myself to drink fluids. I was so disappointed and discouraged. I had trained, put the work in and now I was sick. My husband was asking if I was going to run and I said that way my plan as long as I could. By Friday evening I was feeling better than I had but my energy level wasn’t what it needed to be.

Saturday morning came and it was race day! I was so nervous but I tried to remain clam. I always get so hyped when I run outside, it’s like my brain gets overly excited and my body can’t do anything but jump. Not kidding either. I was at the starting line randomly jumping to get some of my nerves out. As the race started I thought as I do every running event I partake in “how crazy this is, a bunch of people just running together in a big herd”. Like why do we do this, it’s insane. But boy how fun! I also thought about how much I HATE running in the cold and why on earth did I pick a run in the middle of November in Virginia!

The first three miles I knew would be the hardest for me. That seemed to be how long it look my body to get into a comfortable pace and my breathing under control. The cold air burned my lungs. I was worried I was going too fast to maintain my pace the whole time then worried if I started to slow down I would lose momentum and not gain it back. At mile 7 I felt wiped out. I knew my body was tired from being sick and it wanted to quit. This time my mental motivation helped get me through. I kept telling myself this was what I trained for and that I may never get this chance again so leave it all out there. I didn’t want to regret not pushing forward. I was tired but I didn’t care, I was going to keep pushing and keep going.

I kept thinking about how grateful I was to have had this time to do this and how proud I was of not only myself but of the others doing the race that day. I saw so many different people out running and it was amazing. I couldn’t help but smile at times when I thought about it.

At mile 10 I started to fall back in my stride again. I was able to pick up my pace a little. During that last half mile stretch I was so excited and I was pushing hard. Crossing the finish line my legs were tingling, my lungs were burning, and I thought my chest would explode. I have to admit I was so emotional when I crossed the finish line I could have cried. I was overjoyed. I had progressed from a dream, to a goal, and then an accomplishment. I did it. I proved to myself that if I wanted to do something I could and that I didn’t need to fear failure anymore. I’m learning that failing something doesn’t necessarily make you a failure but never trying can. Let’s not be failures but accomplishers. Let’s try something even if it seems scary and hard. Let’s keep pushing even if we want to stop. Let’s leave it all out there so we have no regrets about what we did. Let’s keep running.