encouraging · faith · Family · motivating · self-love · Uncategorized

Mood swing

Over the past several weeks I’ve been struggling with stress and just feeling so busy. My week days have been so long and it has made it hard to balance work life and home life. I know so many can attest to what I am talking about. There doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day to everything we need to do. Some times it can last a short few days and then others it seems never ending. I would like to say I have found some great wisdoms to pass along and then share that with you. The truth is I haven’t any wisdom and very little advice.

Sometimes the advice I do have doesn’t even work for these seasons. My advice would be;

Try to think about the positive and look for the bright side

Keep moving forward and chipping away at what’s ahead

Look at how much you’ve been able to accomplish before in these seasons

So on and so forth can be the advice. Here is my honest opinion about these situations; very rarely are there bad days but mostly bad moods. That is true for most of the times I go through these things. If I just swing my mood then my day miraculously gets better. This is what happened to me two weeks ago. My mood was crummy and I wasn’t looking to change it. I was kind of wallowing in my own bad mood. I bet if we were all honest we can admit to doing this sometimes. It was a Sunday and I was dreading my upcoming week. I was letting it seep into my favorite day of the week and ruin my family time. I wasn’t outwardly doing anything to ruin it I should say but I wasn’t doing much to help spread fun. I think the truth is though sometimes we don’t do anything and God still shows up to help us out. That was what happened to me this particular day. I suddenly felt like this was what would carry me through my long week. The feeling I had, the moments I lived in, and the time I took would help me feel loved and refuel me for the things that were ahead.

So many times over the last few weeks I have gone back to that Sunday in my head or just looking at the photos I took that day of my family and I feel happy and full again. Even now it makes me smile. I don’t want this to seem like another advice blog or that I think you should be doing things differently with your life. I simply want to share this with you because I hope that maybe you will have this shift in your mood and see God shows up even if you haven’t asked Him and it can change everything.

encouraging · faith · motivating · self-love · Uncategorized

Overwhelmed no more

I’ve had the word overwhelmed on my mind here lately. I just decided to check it in my dictionary app and I was a little surprised by the results found. 1 to overcome completely in mind or feeling: overwhelmed by remorse.

2 to overpower or overcome, especially with superior forces; destroy; crush: Roman troops were overwhelmed by barbarians.

3 to cover or bury beneath a mass of something, as floodwaters, debris, or an avalanche; submerge: Lava from erupting Vesuvius overwhelmed the city of Pompeii.

4 to load, heap, treat, or address with an overpowering or excessive amount of anything: a child overwhelmed with presents; to overwhelm someone with questions.

5 to overthrow.

All of these meanings are from a negative viewpoint. I have reread them now several times over and cannot find a positive outlook anyway. This is completely different from the way I have recently viewed this word overwhelm.

About two or so months back I was so busy with things to do, things that I wasn’t exactly happy to be doing, and missing some of the things I wanted to do. I felt defeated and overwhelmed. Then I began to think about how I got into that season of my life. I had been praying for a long while for God to help me in specific areas of my life. I realized He had answered. Although it didn’t look the way I thought it would. These changes were hard and I hadn’t expected that when I had prayed for change.

We ask for blessings in our lives. We’ll pray for growth, chances to help others, ways to make real differences in our communities but when the multiple opportunities arrive we can feel overwhelmed by them. We may miss them because we view them in a negative way. We think it’s something to trip us up or slow is down so we try by passing them. I know I have done that so many times. But didn’t we just ask to be blessed? It’s harder when answered look like more questions.

I’m not going to lie, I am still struggling with this. I’ll have breakfasts to get ready, lunches to pack, beds to make, work my full time job, be a wife and mom. There are dishes and laundry, dogs, and the list can go on…but what if I didn’t have these little blessing. My life may be less hectic but a lot less meaningful and joyful. God has blessed me beyond anything I could have ever hoped, dreamed, or imagined. One morning I was trying to get through my morning routine and I had the though “I’m just here to make the beds huh? And do the laundry? And all the other things no one wants to do?” But then I though no, I am here everyday making the bed as a blessing and an opportunity to make my home better for my family and not just another overwhelming task. Opportunity rather than overwhelming. I feel this has cleared up some mental clutter for me with fewer negative thoughts and feelings. I hope you too will switch the word overwhelming out with something more positive that fits better into your life.

encouraging · Family · motivating · Redirection · Uncategorized

accepting myself

As some you may already know, I started a new job a few months back. This has genuinely been the most difficult transition I’ve ever dealt with. It’s not the job itself that’s so hard, it’s how it’s challenged every part of my life. I NEVER expected that. Most of the major, no wait all of the major changes in my life have come with a warning and some prep time before actually happening. I truly believe this was a move from God because everything happened so unified and unflawed.

Something I struggle with self confidence and self doubt. So many of us struggle with this. For one or even many reasons we feel like we aren’t good enough. Maybe someone made us feel that way or we just took this on naturally ourselves. When I started this new job I had some self doubt just as most people do. Gradually though we begin to feel like we’re getting a better handle on things. This time though I felt like I was doing worse and not getting any better. I felt like I was drowning at times.This was beginning to bleed into other parts of my life. I was beginning to think that I was a bad mom and wife. That of course affected what type of mom and wife I was actually being. I’m sure you’ve been there, you start thinking about something and it just can spiral into who knows where. Our mind is a powerful thing. Even if anyone tires to tell me how well I am doing I don’t take compliments well because I don’t believe them.

This time however, I started to consider not the reassurance from others that I was being good or doing well but from what I feel like God says about me. This has been a major element in my life right now. I feel like I am working towards seeing myself through Gods eyes rather than others or even myself.So often I want others to see me how I see me but when they don’t it hurts. I would become defensive or I wouldn’t understand why I couldn’t act a certain way to please people. The problem I was running into was hinging my happiness on others around me.  If someone seemed pleased with me then I was pleased with me but if someone was upset with me about something then I was upset with me about it as well. It didn’t matter if it was true or not. I was giving my power of happiness away. This doesn’t dismiss the fact that I am wrong a times or that I can lose my cool. I think it’s importance to feel what another persons is feeling so you may empathies or sympathies with them. This make for better communication and understanding one another.

Seeking and accepting myself the way God sees me has changed my perspective a lot for my own happiness. Rather than allowing another persons emotions or thoughts to rule my mood I decided to be owner of my own mood and joy. I am a people please and I believe as a wife and mother it is my role to set the tone for my family. So what does that say about my family if I am thinking bad about myself. I need to think about myself like I would want my husband to think about our family. I need to think about myself how I want my son to think about himself and others. So when it comes to my self esteem and self confidence I am still struggling, I think I always will. I know I am not perfect and never ever will be but I know God made me how He wanted me, how He sees me. Now when I begin to feel the self doubt creep in I remind myself Whose I am.

And now that you belong to Christ, you are the true children of Abraham. You are his heirs, and God’s promise to Abraham belongs to you.  Galatians 3:29

encouraging · motivating · Redirection · self-love · Uncategorized

Striving for Patience

IMG_4080Hello friend. I hope this week has found you well. Since my last post about being spiritually fed, I was able to reset my direction and be more intentional with listening to sermons. One of the themes that stood out to me is patience.

I hate to admit this but I have a short temper sometimes. This is one of the faults I am working on. I have noticed a direct relation between my little patience and my quick temper. I never recognized it before but I had the realization that if I am not exhibiting patience then I become more upset with little things happening around me. Then I started thinking more about how I could be more patience. So far what I’ve come up with is expect interruptions and use forethought. Since becoming a mom I’ve learned being prepared is my best strategy. I figured out if I started prepping for the next morning the night before, my morning wouldn’t be as hectic. If I knew I wanted to leave the house as soon as my son was up from his nap I should pack the car before he wakes up to make it an easier exit.

I never thought about applying these techniques when thinking about my emotions. As I thought about this concept I thought “well isn’t dealing with interruptions just another way of multitasking?” Which I believe it is. To me the difference between multitasking and dealing with interruptions is this; multitasking is orchestrating multiple things around you and interruptions are when things are happing to you. So I allowed interruptions around me to happened to me rather than me being an active part in the process. I was so focused on moving forward with my plan that I would become frustrated and stuck if something seemed to interrupt me. One of my favorite sermons to go along with this is by Holly Furtick called “The Gift of Interruption” . In that she tells the story of the good Samaritan and how he allowed an interruption in his day and was able to help out his fellow man. It makes me think about how many times I may be able to positively impact someone else day, maybe even my own, if I allow for interruptions.

This brings me to my next point, forethought. No matter how much planning I do I know that things will not go 100% my way and that interruptions will occur. For me though this is where things get a little tricky. I feel like there is a difference because forethought and worrying. To me worry is when you repeatedly think about something in a negative way and forethought is thinking about something in a constructive way. So by utilizing forethought I am able to equip myself with different responses to interruptions. Forethought is just a fancy word for preparation and that for me has become a vital part in dealing with interruptions. Shifting my perspective from dealing with interruptions verses preparing for different situations can help my mood be in the better frame of mind.

I am learning very slowly how to build my patience. Some days I feel like I am taking steps back though. I feel guilty or even defeated on those days. I wonder why I’m not getting it together. Those days are hard. I am learning to work through this and I feel like am learning each day. Holly says we women are the thermostats for our family meaning we set the tone for how the rest of the family is feeling. I believe this is true and I want to set a realistic prospect of a joyful family. I am going to continue to strive for patience.

encouraging · faith · self-love · Uncategorized


Tonight I made homemade apple crisp. I have made apple crisp from mixes and homemade before but this time it was different. It was actually pretty tasty. ha! Cooking, as I’ve mentioned before, isn’t something I excel with. Baking especially although I’ve always wanted to be a good baker. When I was baking tonight I used some of the things I’ve been learning about cooking and paying more attention to what I was doing and it paid off.

I have noticed a pattern of tests in my life here recently. Well I don’t really like using the word test but maybe rather an assessment. To me test would be things happening in my life that I had to control over, something happening to me or marking the completion of something. These events I am talking about are both things happening to me and things I’ve brought on myself and I feel like they are far from over. Within the past few weeks, maybe month now, I have noticed that the areas in my life I am seeing myself grow are being played upon. They have included my marriage, being a mom, situations with friends, my family, and work. As I’ve noticed these things around me I have been able to assess my growth. Am I learning from the experiences I’ve had around me or do I keep making the same mistakes? I am learning so much about myself. Somethings have shown me how much I have improved and others have shown me the distance at which I still have to go. I have to say I feel so grateful when I see these things in front of me. I feel so blessed to see the ways in which God is working in my life. I have been able to see blessings in the ordinary and I feel I am becoming more and more grateful.  This message is short today but hopefully you’ll be able to look at your own lives today and see how far you’ve come from where you started. Lets all keep striving forward and seeking candor.

encouraging · faith · Family · self-love · Uncategorized

Good thoughts in…

A few weeks ago during dinner my husband and I had a disagreement and after we put our son to be I retreaded into out bedroom and didn’t talk to him for the rest of the night. I was so mad and hurt by something he said that I didn’t and couldn’t talk to them without making it worse. So my solution was to not talk at all. I stayed in our room reading. The next morning when I woke up I had a feelings hangover. That yucky feeling of hurt and frustration that passed through a night of sleep and still seemed to be lingering the next day. I woke up as usual before anyone else in the house and did my morning run and made breakfast and lunches still feeling upset. I was thinking about the night before and replaying in my head what was said and how I felt Cory should have acted. Then I felt like God was saying “yeah but what about you?” Well what about me? I was the one who was upset and hurt by what Cory said but why exactly and did it really warrant that reaction? As I thought more about it and really tried to pick apart my feelings I realized I did have the right to be upset but I had over reacted a little. I am the type of person who needs a little time to gather my thoughts when I get upset because I have a tendency to make my initial reaction my official reaction. Once I can process how I feel about something then I am better able to express how and why I feel the way I do. So taking some time would have worked, just maybe not all night.

But why did I get so upset then? I realized it was not at what Cory said but what I think about myself. I have issues with self esteem, like most people. Mine vary from what they are about and when they bother me. Sometimes I can hear the same thing about myself from two different people and one will bother me and the other will not. I don’t like that really. The way I feel about myself shouldn’t be determined from what others say but sometimes I cannot help but let the opinions of others take over my own thoughts. I don’t think this means I am easily swayed or manipulated. What I do think it means though; I already had an underlying thought about myself and its being played upon by my own thoughts. Whether you believe in God or not I think everyone can agree that we have good and bad in the world. The bad thoughts can sometimes enter into your mind quickly and other times slowly creep in unnoticed. The bad thoughts are our enemy. Our enemy can talk about others in ways that make us feel bad or compare ourselves to others. That’s what I had been dealing with that day. Negative thoughts about myself, stressing about not being enough for work and my home life and I let it get the best of me. I took something that my loving husband said and let it ruin our evening.

The next morning when I was processing and meditating on how I felt I realized this and decided to tell myself the good stuff. I told myself what I know to be true about myself. This doesn’t mean that I am perfect, in fact I am far from it. I feel so embarrassed that I acted this way honestly. But I am not as bad as I allow myself to think sometimes. Our thoughts are something that we alone are responsible for protecting. This is something that no one else can control. It’s up to ourselves and ourselves alone. If you take garbage in (I am terrible at.. I am stupid because… I don’t like myself for.. I’ll never be…) you’ll get garbage out. I think this is so important for our everyday selves regarding how we think and feel about ourselves and others. Every time you have a negative thought about someone or yourself I encourage you to decipher where it came from. Is it a true statement or is it our enemy, our bad thoughts telling us these things? If you expect the worst of a person, that’s what you’ll see of them no matter what they do. The same thing goes when you’re thinking about yourself.

I think guarding our thoughts can be huge when it comes to happiness. I have met so many people over the year, especially working in the geriatric setting, who have been through some major life changes. What I have learned from these experiences is if you want to be happy you can be. That doesn’t mean you overlook all the bad things happening in your life. You see them and recognize them. But you also look for the good in your life, the beauty around you. Good thoughts in, good feelings out.